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Natures Valley. South Africa. African Stories || Oberholzer: I am Lynn Oberholzer's PA, a quiet shadow in the distant corner. My chief objectives in life are to do as she wishes and more often, instructs or orders me to do. With no character and just a tinsel of personality, I often succumb to the occasional walkabout and the odd drinkabout. I am Obie-erratum. Lynn has just produced a wonderful cookbook. Her recipes are mouth-watering, just a pity about the food shots, but as the world's worst food photographer, this was to be expected. I should have become a wedding photographer. The only wedding I ever photographed was when a friend, way back in the Durban days, got married to the girl he should not have. As the wedding ceremony progressed, the images were increasingly blurred and out of focus. The final ones are real ART photography, a colourful mix of moving abstract forms and graphic blobs. Lynn's book, ‘Cooking in the Photographer's House', contains 23 landscapes of our coastal village. As you might know, we live in Nature's Valley along South Africa's south coast. Lynn calls it ‘The Valley of Dreams'. What adds to its beauty is that it is situated within the Tsitsikamma National Park. This holiday village is situated along the wild Indian Ocean coastline and is surrounded by mountains, Afromontane forests and Cape Fynbos. It is one of the few settlements in South Africa situated within a national park. When walking and running in the morning you often pass Bushbuck grazing in people's yards, Knysna Loeries flying across the road, baboons barking in the forest and the happy chatter of Vervet Monkeys in the trees. A few months ago, a Leopard was spotted in the campsite and I personally saw two Sea Otters on the beach at dawn. Besides all the gurgling streams and naked virgins in paradise, it's not always paradise here in paradise. The Internet is as shaky as our great Leader's other leg and the potholes are getting competitive. Then there is a massive, evil, rogue Baboon terrorising this small population of 101 permanent residents. I am sure that it's escaped from the movie set of Planet of the Apes 3. He's now learnt how to turn handles, open doors, fridges and kitchen drawers. He takes great pleasure in defecating and generally destroying the interior of homes with brutal regularity. A week ago, the rogue slipped past my wife and our friendly Zimbabwean gardener, took 12 eggs, oranges, and apples from the kitchen in under 5 seconds. He then proceeded to eat his bounty on the top of our roof and throw the eggshells down into the Piazza. In a fit of rage I grabbed my .22 rifle and lined him up in my sights. But, Baboons are protected in South Africa. All I did was fire a shot over his head, the bullet hit the branch of a candlewood tree, which broke and dropped on my neighbour's washing line. The baboon looked up at me, wiped the egg off his face, and gave me the finger. Evolution has arrived in paradise. Soon, my neighbour phoned to say she was sure that the Baboon was trying on a shirt from her washing line. (KEYSTONE/LAIF/Obie Oberholzer)